My Higher Power is John Stamos
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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