I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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