I wannas sexs uuuuu
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
