JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
