yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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