apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
