tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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