Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No I am not eating basil off your cock
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
