omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize