taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
