Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wrigley field is MILF paradise
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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