Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
