She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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