let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
