It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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