Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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