that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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