you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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