that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
