I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
