My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
