i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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