Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
