it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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