i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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