Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize