something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
