Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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