I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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