She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
