I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
