How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
