if only i could text you this smell
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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