I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
