I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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