Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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