Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
