Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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