My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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