If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
