I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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