shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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