just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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