No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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