You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Who died my cat blue again?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
