Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
