week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
