Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My hand turned me down
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
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