I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Your cock deserves a montage
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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