a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
