Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize
