also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
