It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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