I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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