You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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