how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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