I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
