maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
